Date: 2005-06-06 17:41 Subject: Yummy Security: Public

Will not perv, will not perv, will no perv... *chants at great length*

But stalking's good! Yay!

... Oh honestly, TR. Snap out of it!

Dammit, I have such a weakness for androgynous people. Stop flaunting yourselves in front of me! Evil evil evil! *sobs*

Date: 2004-12-01 09:54 Subject: Coming to you liiiive from Perth! Security: Public Mood: happy Music: friend singing along to Leslie Cheung's 'Chase'

It seems that my friend has an internet connection in her place. Heh. *is very happy*

Speaking of happiness, happiness is waking up after a long night's rest on a comfortable and warm bed, having chrysanthemum tea, microwaved overnight pizza and smokes. And oh yes, listening to Leslie Cheung's best hits. I have found my piece of nirvana.

Date: 2004-11-21 12:03 Subject: (no subject) Security: Public Mood: sleepy Music: Gackt -- Cube

I have such a headache.

Been typing a lot lately 'cos I've unofficially been made my sister's personal assistant and so hence the late nights spent reading and typing incomprehensible law jargon from Acts and Trade Agreements and whatnots. And they are all in such teeny-tiny font, I had to actually look for my spectacles so I wouldn't go blind by the end of the day, or night.

I have such a headache, have I mentioned that?

Will be going out for lunch later with family and another family, and will be forced to socialize. Bleaaah. Even the knowledge that we'll be having dim sum isn't cheering me up. Thank goodness my sister is going with me, then both of us could pretend to be the glum twins because we look tired and sport the same dark undereye circles, and I wouldn't feel so awkward and out of place 'cos I really am tired and in no mood for small talk.

Been having restless dreams lately, and for the life of me, I still have no idea what I've dreamt that's been making me wake up at six in the morning with thoughts I'd forget in the next minute or so.

So tired. Father is being a pig and annoyingly adamant that I should attend this lunch.

Date: 2004-11-16 09:59 Subject: (no subject) Security: Public

I've had a very enjoyable long distance phone conversation with an equally sleep-deprived friend, whereupon we argued -- or rather I did -- that he should take the chance to visit the gentlemen's club -- or in his speak, a strip joint, but gentlemen's club sounds far genteel and acceptable in polite society, naturally -- that's conveniently located a few blocks away from his lair. Unfortunately, the poor chap possesses a squeaky clean disposition, which is both endearing and infuriatingly nauseating at the same time, and I wonder if his desire to actually step foot into the 'forbidden ground' would ever take place, or die a sweet, forever-regretted death (I know jolly well he'll regret it if he didn't do it) like all other daring dreams of such a nature.

On a plus side, I managed to convince him to bake me an orange cheesecake once he returns from U.K. Go me!

... Aaah, nasty conscience is biting me on the ass like a foul bad-tempered critter that it is. Not my fault that he's such a sweet boy; they should have known never to let me near sweet boys! I can't control myself from taking advantage of them! Bad TR... but then, it's free cheesecake. Maybe I should make this a particular exception, just this once, eheh.

I wonder, would he be willing to make me a grilled tuna dish based on that very same recipe he sent me? Must plot and plan, catch him unawares-- his weakness is cooking, and I happen to know someone in Canada, maybe I could ask that person to courier to me a bottle of maple syrup that he has always wanted to try...

Today, orange cheesecake; tomorrow, grilled tuna; and then: The World!!!111oneone BWAHAHAHAHAHA

But first, I must sleep.

Date: 2004-11-16 07:02 Subject: Public Apology to IM ('cos I am that dramatic, you know): I am so very sorry, babe :-( Security: Public

It has just occured to me how incredibly foolish and insensitive I was when I was heatedly expressing my opinion regarding the sudden social interest in the merits of being skinny (and metrosexual, too) to IM, whom I came to realise may have a complete differing claim to the matter (due to personal reasons, I can only presume).

And thus, oncemore I have stumbled unto another occasion where my foot was well reaquainted with my mouth.

Can I blame it all on sleep deprivation? I mean, you'd probably be acting as stupid as I did if you have had fevered dreams of your sister turning into a cannibalistic pyscho and you're the RM5 all-you-can-eat buffet... *whimper*

Date: 2004-11-06 02:17 Subject: (no subject) Security: Public Mood: sick

I feel like I'm doing something naughty. You see, I am not supposed to be up because I am unwell, probably with a 24-hour bug. Yet, after spending nearly a full day languishing comatose-like on my bed, the need for some execise and much mental stimulation -- because I was left with Conrad's 'The Secret Agent', horror of all horrors! -- became almost imperative.

Besides, I want to make a display of dramatics because dammit I am sick and I feel like utter crap!

I can't breathe. Can someone tell the bloody frog to get out of my throat so I can speak? And tell him to take his mates away with him; they're making it impossible to inhale properly.

No fever yet, but I feel like dying. Maybe I am; maybe it's the slow torturous one. The seconds are ticking, the moments are passing, gimme a cigarette so I can fucking die with a smile on my face.

I don't get sick often, and this is the first time in years. I hate this.

Date: 2004-11-03 13:19 Subject: (no subject) Security: Public Mood: discontent Music: doa -- Shiro no Jumon

Watching 'Saiyuki' makes me itch for a roadtrip, 'cos I'm restless with boredom and everyone within the vicinity are driving me nutso. If I hear anyone making irritating comments about my age and how lucky I am to start working soon 'cos I've graduated earlier than most of the others, I shall start screaming. If I hear my sister weep and wail one more time about that stupid job of hers, I will scream and throw a tantrum in front of her. If my ma tries again to drop none too subtle hints about one of my exs and say he'll make her a wonderful son-in-law, I will scream, throw tantrums and things, move out the house and join a travelling circus.

Oh right, a roadtrip. Anyone game for it?

Tell me, is it strange to want to go back to studying? I don't want to work yet 'cos I fear that once I do, I will devote the next five to ten years of my life working and I'm not ready for that yet. I want to get a second degree in something that I like, and I'm still 19 (well, 20 actually by next month), which means there's time ... Yet, I can't anyway, 'cos I don't have money for that and I'm not clever enough to get a scholarship.

Perth! Next month! Yea!

Date: 2004-10-17 01:58 Subject: The house that never sleeps Security: Public Mood: content Music: Diana Krall -- Boulevard of Broken Dreams

My ma is currently in the living room, watching the black and white version of 'Little Lord Fauntleroy' and sighing over the son she never had. My dad is, without a doubt, awake in the bedroom, as evident from the light shining from under the door. My sister has gone out and will be back around four a.m.; while I am sitting in front of my computer, reading good Smallville fiction, and secretly envying fictional characters having a more interesting life than I.

It's going to be 2 a.m. in the next few minutes. There are no mosquitoes in my room, the puppies are quiet, and my lychee ice-cream is soft and extraordinarily good.

I am content.

Date: 2004-10-13 20:08 Subject: Covert ops Security: Public

At the moment, I have a craving for durian cake but I dare not venture into the kitchen because the kitchen window directly faces my nieghbour's garden, which is currently occupied by guests she invited to celebrated her baby's full moon (Chinese custom for babies), and I am supposed to be there like the rest of my family are, but as you can deduce, I am not and dammit! I want my durian cake! But no, they can see me!

After watching one too many times of PM Kurogane, I feel like morphing into a ninja but the thought of slipping and twisting my ankle from doing speed jumps or acrobatic play deters me. Also, Susumu is far prettier than I am or could ever hope to be. *sulks*

... I am hungry! Feed me!

ETA: Hunger got the best of me, and so I attended the party and stuffed myself with fried rice, lamb, curry chicken, sotong balls, fried wanton, and cauliflower. Yum. But the downside of this, however, was when I had to suffer through comments like "You look so much older than your sister!", especially when said sister is three years older than yours truly.

It's not my fault that my sister is a midget!! *bawls noisily*

Date: 2004-10-12 13:07 Subject: Not Work Safe At All. Click at own risk. Security: Public Mood: horny

Mon dieu! *gibbers incoherently*

Maybe it's time for me to take an *active* interest in sports...

Date: 2004-10-11 20:34 Subject: (no subject) Security: Public

I've had a weird dream this afternoon.

To see a peach in your dream, represents pleasure and joy, You take pleasure in the minor, trivial things in life. The dream may also imply that something in your life is just "peachy" and going well. Alternatively, a peach may be indicative of lust and sensuality. Consider how it my be a metaphor for your sweetheart or loved one. From here.

Haaah~? I feel cheated!

I should have had some of those peaches when I was in China. They looked so pretty and smelt so nice... but I was too tired to even eat the ones in my room. (T_T)

Dinner today was a meal of vegetables and a hardboiled egg. The vegetables, however, had a worm/caterpillar/dead bug in it, so in the end, I just ate the egg. But I'm not hungry anyway 'cos the two pieces of durian cake I had this afternoon were very filling. XD

( PM spoiler-ish )

I miss Lanie. I think I shall go annoy someone.

ETA: Alright, I love his accent! Check out Stewie! Hmm... the ruptured cappilaries in your nose belies the clarity of your wisdom *snark, snark, snark*

Date: 2004-10-08 23:42 Subject: Irish Tree!TR Security: Public

Hornbeam Tree (Good Taste) -- of cool beauty, cares for its looks and condition, good taste, is not egoistic, makes life as comfortable as possible, leads a reasonable and disciplined life, looks for kindness and acknowledgment in an emotional partner, dreams of unusual lovers, is seldom happy with its feelings, mistrusts most people, is never sure of its decisions, very conscientious.

... This is not making me feel any better. Oh, the pressure!

I would like to comment on the above but I am feeling a little too self-concious at the moment, and it's making me very uncomfortable. Maybe another day, I suppose. But anyway, I shall amuse you with a little 'oopsie!' that happened during dinner.

We had the same mamak food -- Hindu-Muslim cuisine, very casual and laidback, and usually eaten out in the open -- like yesterday, and the day before that. And what seemed to be shaping up like almost every other night with its usual monotonous regularity of events -- order, sit, eat, leave -- was broken when I tripped over an umbrella metal stand, knocked my plastic stool over when I stood up and then later crashed headlong into my ma when she abruptly paused in her tracks.

Ah. The shame.

And so, when people say flattering things about me, I usually find it hard to believe them because they evidently haven't heard me speak, or seen me absentmindedly walk into a pole and apologise to it instantly.




*sigh*

Date: 2004-10-08 11:57 Subject: (no subject) Security: Public

The man who copied my trial set of accounts onto my diskette didn't do it correctly and made the file a shortcut, which means that I will have to go back later today and request them to do it all over again.

I am so pissed off that my shoulders are tense and aching. The office is quite a distance away, and it's virtually difficult to find a parking space any where within it's vicinity. But what really peeves me is the fact that the dude who copied the file should be aware of what he's doing -- for crying out loud, he's working in a consulting company that has international contacts and he can't bloody well copy a file correctly to a diskette?

I wonder if this job is worth it 'cos for all I know, I wouldn't be accepted, or that it has all been a hoax. After all, it is a small company and I wouldn't be surprised that they may suddenly vanish within a month's time, like how all other fake businesses do.

Where's my sugar daddy/momma when I need him/her? (T_T)

Date: 2004-10-07 12:47 Subject: (no subject) Security: Public

Another mini briefing and still no job. Ma is driving me up the wall with her negativity, and I am horribly broke.

Incoh dear, I am sorry to learn that you have had a bad day yesterday. I hope that today is better, and anyway, just remember that you are very much adored by yours truly. *hughug*

... I think it's going to be another hot day today. May sleep later.

Date: 2004-10-07 01:54 Subject: Obsessive -compulsiveness is taking over my life Security: Public Mood: restless

Could anyone tell me how to spot illegal lot trading, and it's relation to day and night trading in the FOREX? I haven't come across this in my studies, and I am painfully curious to know what it is.

The thought that I haven't learnt about this before is just killing me. Someone please tell me and end my pain, so I can sleep tonight!

Employment-status is still pending. Have sat for the interview, briefing and tomorrow, I shall be given a test trial and after that, I will have to wait for a week to know if I am accepted. I can't believe all this fuss over a bloody temp. job. Ridiculous.

Will continue checking the job ads tomorrow. *needs to get a life*

Date: 2004-10-01 11:27 Subject: (no subject) Security: Public Mood: cranky

RAWR!! *rage, rage*

If I weren't so tired from sleeping, I would have slept by now. I hurt and I ache, I am going to morph into a creature with unhealthy supersonic whining, and it's all because I am determined to make everyone's day a lousy one since I'm feeling particularly nasty.

If only the phone ain't too far away...

Yesterday's lunch was The. Worst. Lunch. Ever. But then, it's selfish of me to think in that manner since it was my sister's big day yesterday, and I had to go out of my room and the house to celebrate it with her... and also with over twenty other people (strangers, in my list). In the end, I was too bored and sleepy, I snuck out of the hotel dining area and into the lounge, and dozed away for two hours.

Oh, the 'celebration' is still on though. Tomorrow night, and the nights after that, we will be having dinner parties with other people and I wonder if I will eventually succumb from boredom and practice shooting soggy tissue bits (discreetly, of course) at people's backs.

I loathe social functions. It brings out the five year old monster in me.

Date: 2004-09-28 17:59 Subject: (no subject) Security: Public Mood: enraged

Today would be the sort of day that I wish I didn't bother to get out of bed and meet people.

I was having lunch with a friend, and spent the three hours speaking like I have some sort of a speech impediment. And it's annoying because I have this unfortunate tendency to stammer and stutter when I least expect it, and it just so happened that today is just another one of those days.

How embarassing. I should have slept earlier last night.

In the meantime, the government raised the tax on cigarettes and bringing forth more anti-smoking measures, and it's pissing me off. Thoroughly. Supremely. Because I have been trying to stop, and having these sort of measures ain't really encouraging since it'd provoke me to do the exact opposite.

When is Kinokuniya ever gonna stock up on FAKE Vol. 7?!!

Date: 2004-09-16 20:15 Subject: (no subject) Security: Public

Oh dear me, such luxury I am experiencing currently! *fans self* Alright, it's not really a luxury, so to say, but let's just go by the fact that I am easily awed and amused by the simplest things.

But before I get sidetracked by little insignificant details (I FEEL LIKE A YUPPIE!! Let's do lunch, ja?), I shall swallow my amusement/embarassment and blurt out that I shall be coming home to warm, sunny and crime-infested Malaysia (Beijing doesn't have snatch-thief problems, likeomgwtf!!11one) tomorrow. And yes, that does bring a very literal meaning to my saying "I VILL BE BAHCK!!" in my last post.

So, why, you might cry out with humour or frustration (I love you too, btw, and that's meant to be sarcastic), why have you decided to come back and plague our very existence, or at least, our friends' page? It's simple really: They simply had no room for me.

I can almost predict the creation of tasteless jokes about my unwanted person by the time news have spread to my humble and very small social circle. But it is true; when I arrived at the campus on the first registration day at the glorious hour of eight in the morn, the accomodation dictators decreed that there weren't any available rooms and that we could either stay outside, or in a nearby hotel.

"What is the hotel rate per night, then?" asked a white dude; his handsome features creased unattractively in a frown.

"One hundred," replied Female Dictator, with her index finger pointing towards the heavens.

"One hundred yuan?"

"No, no... one hundred [US] dollars." And the poor man looked faintly ill, but I think it's probably due to carrying two large backpacks and inhaling the dusty, polluted air of Beijing.

Of course I could have stayed outside, but I didn't want to. At that moment, for the first time in months, the calculating part of my mind jumpstarted with a vengeance, measuring the cost versus benefits of my staying and studying in Beijing. Benefit: Learning Mandarin, but the result would be dubious since I will probably learn less than half of it all towards the end of four months. Cost: Expensive; won't be proficient at all; strained nerves would be strained further; waste of a perfectly good three months of break; and yes, I will have to start work by January and the course wouldn't permit me to be back by then (course: four months; study-free break: three months).

So, what to do, what to do?!, I thought, and then it hit me like a ton of bricks: Use the money and get yourself a real holiday, away from the books and foul air and most importantly, the people.

And then from then onwards, it went by in a rush -- my dad and I hopped on a plane, with a family friend, to Guangzhou and here I am, in Shamian, which is really the prettiest spot in Guangzhou (and probably the only one pretty spot around), and it has both British and French influences on the architecture and surroundings that makes it a delight to go walking at night. (And just earlier, there was this group of half-naked sweating men running, and oh my! Muscular, tanned, sweaty, and so positively yummy!!)

Of course, I shan't elaborate further on the near traumatic experience I had on the plane when they started showing a softcore Chinese movie with Shu Qi in it, 'cos really, I was sitting just beside my dad, for crying out loud!! Ick.

I will be back tomorrow, and in the meantime I shall enjoy my mochachillo in some coffee shop with free internet service, soft plush armchairs and fantastic British colonial-like surroundings, and yes, I feel strangely yuppie-ish. Or caught in a peculiar time warp.

Shiro, if you see this post, I have to agree with you -- for reasons that may not be the same as yours -- that China is definitely not a place I would like to stay for a long period at any time in the future.

Malaysia, I shan't ever think that badly of you ever again. *nods fervently*

Date: 2004-09-12 00:38 Subject: It is time! Security: Public

I shall get straight to the point ('cos I am very sleepy and have to be up at six thirty).

I will be leaving for China tomorrow, or rather, later today, and I am unsure if I will get any internet access because I haven't checked if the internal modem of my laptop works, or whether I can be arsed to use one of those computers in the comp. lab. And as such, this may be my only post for the next four months, so...

Try not to miss me much, ne? ;)

Meanwhile, before I jump straight to bed, I have a few things to say:

I WANT TO GO TO FRANCE! AGATHE DE LA BOULAYE!! WATCHED AVP THREE TIMES AND SHE'S SO KAKKOI!!!

Also, I will most definitely miss all of you and your interesting/fascinating/quirky/melodramatic/spammity(And that's for you, Pastles!)/totallyrandom posts, and I have no idea how the next few days are going to be like for me away from the 'net.

I will most likely go into withdrawal. Ooh, the joy.

And so now, I shall bid you all "Au Revoir!", and not goodbye, because I VILL BE BAHCK! (whether you like it, or not, nyaa~!)

Date: 2004-09-07 14:05 Subject: (no subject) Security: Public

Agathe de la Boulaye has spoiled me for both men and women, and in all honest truth, I haven't felt this way since I got over my obsession with Gackt and that was ages ago.

DAMN YOU SY FOR MAKING ME SEE AVP WITH YOU!! YOU KNOW HOW I AM AROUND GORGEOUS BUTCH FEMALES! RARR!!

*sob* I am so weak.